Sunday, October 4, 2015

Selective Authenticity

Selective Authenticity

Authenticity. I've been thinking about this word a lot. I see it thrown around everywhere, in all kinds of memes. I've been told recently, by an ex, that I am not an authentic person. This accusation was made because she did not feel I was addressing issues as they occurred. However, not everyone processes the same way, and in the same time.  So yes, in some sense, I would whole heartedly agree. Yet, in others, I would disagree. The word authentic is synonymous with the words real and genuine, and share the sense of actuality and lack of falsehood or misrepresentation. The word authentic carries a connotation of authoritative certification that an object, or a person,  is what it, or, he/she claims, and is perfection in every aspect and compartment of their life.

I have recently come to the belief that authenticity does not actually exist for anyone. We are all works in progress. We live life compartmentalized so that we have a particular level of authenticity at work, and another with our family and another with our friends, and often, hardly at all, with ourselves. Additionally, there is a level of inauthenticity that exists within our compartments. We offer a smile and say "fine" when we are not. We push through when we are in pain. We pretend to love the job we hate. We tend to say we enjoy the company of people we really do not like. There are also people who tend to live life in the closet in some compartments and not in the others and when faced with the truth, the true self shatters and a false self emerges. 

So while we all enjoy moments of authentic levels of living, they are truly selective. 

So whenever, I hear someone spout in righteous advocation of how they live an authentic life, I know that in reality it is their ego shouting, "hey pay attention to me, see me, I am here". Whenever, I hear someone shame another for not living authentically, I have to remind myself, over and over, that none of us live an authentic life. For authenticity is like selective hearing. We hear what we want, what makes life easier for us and we live life the same way. This is not to say that we are lesser people, horrible individuals, however, I do believe that it is wise to be careful with throwing this word around like a stick or stone to shame others and to make them feel less than. 

Now, to take this deeper,I could say that she is wrong. That even my imperfections are authentic, because they are authentically created by me, and are mine and mine alone. Thus, exposing the fact that it simply boils down to another person's inability to accept my authenticity. Either you don't like what another person presents or a person cannot control what the other person presents. However, the end result still stands. Whether it is disagreement or an inability to control another, it is never another's right to shame another person based on whether you think they are authentic or not. I don't shame the person who doesn't like their job, or their boyfriends friends, or the person who lives life in the closet half the time. We are all doing our best. Just don't expect me to stick around if you try to shame me.

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