Just Do It

My Best days, whether at home or at work, are the days when I am ready and focused. The days when I have a clear vision of what needs to get done and that vision is written down on paper and scheduled into manageable steps. Not everyday is like that, and nor should it be. Trust me, I have my days (many of them) that I completely leave to chance. I have days that I completely waste infront of the television or, you guessed it, Facebook. But after a day or two the pile of to-do's in my little head becomes a seemingly surmountable fortress. I'm guessing, however, that I am not the only one. So, if you are like me and need to get stuff done here are some reminders on how to Just Do It! 

1. Break Your Work Into Little Chunks Subconsciously, we find the work too overwhelming for us. Break it down into little parts, and then focus on one part at the time. If you still procrastinate on the task after breaking it down, then break it down even further. Soon, your task will be so simple that you will be thinking “gee, this is so simple that I might as well just do it now!. For example, let’s say you want to write a new book (on How to achieve anything in life). Writing a book is an enormous project and can be overwhelming. However, when I break it down into phases such as – (1) Research (2) Deciding the topic (3) Creating the outline (4) Drafting the content (5) Writing Chapters #1 to #10, (6) Revision (7) etc. suddenly it seems very manageable. 

2. Eliminate your procrastination pit-stops. If you are procrastinating a little too much, maybe that’s because you make it easy to procrastinate. For example if you spend a lot of time online (ahem…Facebook) Identify your browser bookmarks that take up a lot of your time and shift them into a separate folder that is less accessible. Disable the automatic notification option in your email. Get rid of the distractions around you. I know some people will out of the way and delete their Facebook accounts. I think it’s a little extreme as addressing procrastination is more about being conscious of our actions, but, if you feel that’s what’s needed, go for it.

3. Hang out with people who inspire you to take action.  I’m pretty sure if you spend just 10 minutes talking to Bill Gates, or Oprah, you’ll be more inspired to act than if you spent the 10 minutes doing nothing. The people we are with influence our behaviors. Identify the people/friends/colleagues who trigger you – most likely the go-getters and hard workers – and hang out with them more often. Soon you will adopt their drive and spirit too.

4. Get a buddy. Having a companion makes the whole process much more fun. Ideally, your buddy should be someone who has his/her own set of goals. Both of you will hold each other accountable to your goals and plans. While it’s not necessary for both of you to have the same goals, however, if that’s the case, so you can learn from each other. I have a good friend whom I talk to regularly, and we always ask each other about our goals and progress in achieving those goals. Needless to say, it spurs us to keep taking action.

5. Tell others about your goals.  Tell your  supportive friends, colleagues, about your projects. Now whenever you see them, they are bound to ask you about your status on those projects.

6. Seek out someone who has already achieved the outcome. What is it you want to accomplish here, and who are the people who have accomplished this already? Go seek them out and connect with them. Seeing living proof that your goals are very well achievable if you take action is one of the best triggers for action.

7. Re-clarify your goals. If you have been procrastinating for an extended period of time, it might reflect a misalignment between what you want and what you are currently doing. Often times, we outgrow our goals as we discover more about ourselves, but we don’t change our goals to reflect that. Take a step back and ask yourself, What exactly do you want to achieve? What should you do to get there? What are the steps to take? Does what you are currently doing align with that? If not, what can you do about it? Write it down.

8. Stop over-complicating things. Are you waiting for a perfect time to do this? Think maybe now is not the best time because of X, Y, Z reasons? Ditch that thought because there’s never a perfect time. If you keep waiting for one, you are never going to accomplish anything. Perfectionism is one of the biggest reasons for procrastination

9. Get a grip and just do it. Overall, it boils down to taking action. You can do all the strategizing, planning and hypothesizing, but if you don’t take action, nothing’s going to happen. Often times people keep complaining about their situations but they still refuse to take action at the end of the day. Reality check: I have never heard anyone procrastinate his or her way to success before and I doubt it’s going to change in the near future.  Whatever it is you are procrastinating on, if you want to get it done, you need to get a grip on yourself and just Do It!! 

Balance Your Way to Success

What does success mean to you? 

I know that every single person dreams of some sort of success. Is it success in business? Is it success in family? Is it success in health? Or is it success in being a good person and making a difference in this world?

All of these definitions are right but I think it is even more important to live a balanced life of success. Successful Living is more than just having a certain amount in your bank account or reaching a certain career height. Successful living in the broadest sense is

~ A life that is full of opportunities that you are not afraid to try, 

~ a life full of fun and meaningful work

~ a life where you can spend plenty of time with the people you care about

~ a life you live without regrets

Doesn’t this life sound wonderful? There are no secrets to living a successful life, but there are a few keys that we sometimes overlook.

1. slow down.

The reason why we sometimes overlook success in life is because we are always in a hurry. We are in a hurry to get somewhere (without thinking whether we really need to be there or not.) We are in a hurry to reach a goal without thinking whether that goal is what we want or not.

Allow yourself to slow down, relax, breathe and ponder on what success truly is for you. Let yourself break free from the expectations of others and the norms that our society dictates to us. Set your own rules that are meaningful and important to you.

Success is getting what you want. Happiness is wanting what you get ~Dale Carnegie

2. De-clutter your way to success

After you have mastered step #1 it is time to move on and declutter your lifestyle. Success does not mean being a superman or a superwoman. You do not have to run a marathon in order to be in good shape – just 30 minutes of running or brisk walking daily is enough.

You do not have to drive a very expensive car in order to show your status.

Eliminate goals that are not meaningful to you, declutter your house, stop communicating with people who drain you emotionally, and give up “empty” activities (TV and too much internet surfing are definitely the first ones to go.)

By getting rid of things that you do not need you make room for success in your life.

3. Learning to fail

Failures are inevitable on any path, especially path to success. There are no doubts that sooner or later you will make a mistake or your attempts will fail. However, letting this failure stop your journey towards success is the biggest mistake that you can make.

Failure is just a stop sign on the road. Just because it is on your way it does not mean that you have to finish your journey. Stop, wait, go.

I do not think there is any other quality so essential to success of any kind as the quality of perseverance. It overcomes almost everything, even nature.”

~John D. Rockefeller

4. Keep the flow and stay the course

If you are not afraid to fail anymore you have to learn to persevere no matter what you are doing. Thomas Edison had tried thousands of times to make the electric light bulb. He said, “I haven’t failed, I’ve identified 10,000 ways that it doesn’t work.” Of course through his perseverance we enjoy light in our houses today.

Giving up on something in life is always the easiest route, but it is not the route that will take you to success. We all have projects that seem too big, too difficult or too impossible. If we can persevere, all those projects will be a success.

5. Keep the faith

There are powers in this world that are much greater than us. The power that you choose to believe in can be Nature, Universe, God … The only power in this world that is limited is the power of a self-centered human.

When you believe in nothing greater than yourself you give room to selfishness and pride which eventually lead to envy, jealousy, and inner emptiness. True successful living does not stop on materialistic achievements; it takes you on the journey towards natural spirituality and infinite growth.

6. Love is all you need

What is life if there is no room in it for love? What is the point of that existence?What is the point of working hard if this work does not bring any results besides money in your bank account?What is the point of living in a big house if that house stays cold and empty all the time?Love is truly the greatest power in this world. It will inspire you, it will motivate you, and it will give you strength when you need it.

7. Pay it forward

Try not to become a person of success, but rather try to become a person of value. ~Albert Einstein  

If your life is more than a tribute to … well … you then your life will be a success. If your efforts are not based on selfishness but rather on generosity and kindness of your heart then no matter what you do in life you will be successful. When you stop thinking only about yourself you discover a completely new meaning of successful living.

What does success mean to you now?

Sweet Remembrance

Sweet Remembrance

Becky Stuto

January 30, 2013

I have a friend who is one of the strongest women I know. Like many of us she is a mother, a daughter a wife and a very loyal and loving friend. And she is one of the loudest and most hilarious Portuguese women I have ever met. In fact, when I first met her, I thought for sure she didn’t like me and I was convinced she was just angry all the time. Then I realized that she was just Portuguese. However, as time went on I continued remain open and, in doing so, was able to see just how beautiful of a spirit she was. This woman is funny. She is straightforward, which I appreciate. I always know where I stand with her. She wears her heart on her sleeve, even when she thinks she doesn’t. She doesn’t take crap from anyone. And she lives life to the fullest. But most beautifully, is the fact that no matter how hard her life is at times, she absolutely loves her life.

This week my friend’s mother passed away. This was not something that my friend felt ready to handle but she is doing the best she can step by step. So this week I just wanted to dedicate this to her in her time of need and perhaps ask for you all to send her a thought of love or healing light even if just for a brief second. Love is an amazing and powerful tool. As our thoughts become our words and our words become our deeds, then we can see how easily our thoughts have a physical effect on this world. Love is the highest vibration of all and from that vibration amazing results occur.

It is my belief that when a loved one dies, instead of grieving, realize that she has gone on to a higher plane at the will of the Divine. Rejoice that she is free. Pray that your love and goodwill be messengers of encouragement to her on her forward path. We would not be human if we did not miss our loved ones. But know, that in setting them free, you are also setting your own self free.

Love in Action

To send your thoughts to loved ones who have passed on, sit quietly in your room and meditate upon them. When you feel peace within your, concentrate deeply at the heart center and broadcast your love to those dear ones who are gone.

Visualize the person you wish to contact and send that soul your vibration of love and strength and courage. Such thoughts give you and your loved one a sense of well-being and a sense of being loved.

Then affirm:

The Ocean of Spirit has become the little bubble of my soul. Whether floating in birth, or disappearing in death, in the ocean of cosmic awareness the bubble of my life cannot die. We are indestructible consciousness, protected in the bosom of Spirit’s immortality.

My most heartfelt and healing vibrations of love go out to all of you this week and always. Blessed Be. 

Becoming Your Own Best Friend

Becoming You Own Best Friend

Becky Stuto

January 23, 2013

Lately my schedule has been kind of crazy. Crazy schedules make me really tired. When I’m tired I have a tendency to get down on myself and the self-talk tends to lean toward the negative. I’m sure you can relate. In fact, we all have thousands of thoughts running through our minds. I’m sure you are not surprised to realize that most of these thoughts are most often directed to the one person who deserves it least – YOU! It’s okay to admit that you are harder on yourself than anyone else could be. We beat ourselves up for all the things we think we should be doing better, should be able to figure out. We blame ourselves and judge ourselves way more than we acknowledge and appreciate ourselves. I know this because I am a woman who holds myself up to very high expectations. I am a high achiever who believes she should climb mountains and career ladders in a single bound forgetting that self-compassion is as valuable as self-esteem and that the cost of forgetting that is my own happiness.

We are in the midst of a self-criticism epidemic and a self-compassion drought. Be nice to others. This is something we have all learned since kindergarten. Of course we know to be compassionate to those less fortunate or those going through tough times, that’s easy. But direct the loving energy of compassion and forgiveness toward ourselves everyday – forget about it!

The Happy Truth:

Our happiness is directly related to our level of self-compassion. Simply put high self-compassion equals more happiness. Lack of self-compassion, happiness levels drop. Believe it or not you, more than anyone, is counting on you to be there with open arms, offering unconditional compassion and forgiveness.

So how do you do that? All the years of academic study will not teach you that. Rather, it can most easily be learned through three simple, yet daring acts of love. Much like going to the gym these acts strengthen your relationship with yourself on a regular basis. Are you ready to start your loving workout?

The Happy Challenge

 Transform Comparison into Inspiration:  

When the mean girl/guy voice starts comparing yourself to another person – either by making you better or deficient – stop and ask yourself, “what is inspiring to me about this person? What are they doing/being/having that I would like to have in my life too? 

Dare: Reach out to that person right there or email and tell them what you appreciate about them! There is only one you and the world is counting on your unique expression.

Give Yourself a Hand:  

A true friend would never kick you when your down, call you a loser, or point out all the ways in which you are falling short. However, they do: appreciate and acknowledge you for being fantastic and they give you a break. As your own best friend, your job next time you’re being mean to yourself, is to transform the harsh words. 

Dare: close your eyes, put you hand on your heart, and say following Love Mantra “You are doing the best that you can, and it is enough” over and over again until you feel a shift inside – that will be your compassion turning on. And then ask yourself, “What do I need to love myself well right now?” And then you must do that thing for yourself – just like a best friend would. 

Dial a Love Life Line: 

Sometimes when you’re really feeling like crap about yourself, and you just can’t find the compassion no matter how hard you try, you have to call in special outside forces. This is the time for “dialing into love” and getting some large quantities of it flowing to you pronto. 

Dare: Call up a person who you trust and who is good at giving love and follow these three steps: 1. Out yourself and your inner critic. Say: “My Inner Mean Girl/Dude is going crazy and telling me XXX.” Just let it rant. 2. Ask them to tell you three great things about me. 3. Listen and receive those great things from them, say thank you, write these love lines down on a piece of paper and carry the love around with you for the rest of the day. 

Flowing with Intuition

Flowing with Your Intuition

January 15, 2013

This week I really had no direction on what I was going to write about. Life has been busy and I have been a bit under the weather. Work schedules have changed, as my school schedule is now dictating life for a bit. I started writing about following your intuition. Then I started writing about balance. Then I was thinking about writing about journaling and reflecting on what we already know. Then I went back to balancing acts. You get it right? I’ve been all over the board with this week. So, as I’ve been going through the week I just kept putting it off, listening to that little voice inside my head that kept telling me not to decide on a topic just yet. Meanwhile, my internal stress level kept rising as I came closer to my self-imposed deadline.

Earlier this week I began my CPR and First aid training for my internship. USC placed me with a foster agency. For a student it really wasn’t the most ideal situation. I would be working out of the house, doing some case management and community work, but it was not clear as to how I would be meeting the learning objectives. I had some serious internal red flags and doubts. Of course I would rise to the challenge and make the most of it, but would it really be the best situation? I was given a ton of paper work to fill out. Training to do, a health exam, live scan fingerprints etc. Originally, I had planned to complete it all as soon as possible and fax it back immediately. But as time went on, I started to feel uneasy about the whole thing. Not just nervous, butterflies in the stomach uneasy but, this really doesn’t set well, something’s fishy uneasy. Yesterday I realized that I was actually putting off faxing the papers over. 

However, today I was given the news that I will not be placed with the agency at all. Apparently, in the past couple weeks USC faculty have been looking over my file and the actual agency and decided that the agency was not a good fit for me. I am so relieved and just amazed at how the universe operates. I am also more amazed at how listening to my intuition just syncs up with the universe.

It’s not like this is a new lesson for me, but more like a reminder. When you trust your instincts life just seems to flow. Trusting your gut is really about following your subconscious thoughts, which in many times, are often right. However, if you tend to over think thing too much, you stray from those initial inner thoughts.

You can begin to follow your mind by keeping these tips in mind:

Trust your subconscious thoughts: They make up your initial instincts and they’re close to your heart. You know that the truth will be revealed to you if you give yourself enough time. Learn to trust yourself. 

Go with what feels right: don’t be afraid to take action towards the things that feel right. If something feels off to you, you can stop and explore the reasons why. It always starts with a feeling. Go in the direction of your positive feelings.

Avoid over thinking: Sometimes your mind can get away from you and start cycling through negative thoughts. Take deep breaths and get back into a positive mindset so that you can see your true path more clearly.

Intuition Flow Challenge

For the next week, or longer if you like, keep a journal with you. Write down any thoughts that seem to keep surfacing around an issue that you are concerned about. This is not about writing down your worries this is more like noticing that one or two particular thoughts keep popping up. For example as I made mental notes to fax those papers a voice/thought would pop up and say “just hold off on that a bit”, “don’t do that quite yet”. Then write down any following events that seem to play out. In my case I would write down that my placement changed, and then my new placement and my feelings around that. You might just find out that everything happens for a reason.