How You Love Me For Now..If At All

To love me means to love the ebb and flow of me

To know that I come with my own rhythm

And to be confident enough to add yours to that.

It is easy to love me in the morning when my eyes are still full of dreams and memories of the sex we had in the middle of the night.

But to love me when the dreams fade and bittersweet memories come clouding my eyes and quieting my voice, is a sweetness that I will always remember you for

You don’t even know you love me but you do…at least just a bit or perhaps only in moments

Your love is a stage of love you have never known and have yet to recognize, but with me you might come to realize that what we do is love anew

It is easy to love me when I laugh at your jokes and battle your wits when you challenge psychological dispositions

But love me when I wake up snarky and need caffeine to get out of your bed is that something you can do? You do

It will be easy to love me when I make you dinner like all good Italian girls do and when I let you have your way with me like all ex-Catholic girls do

But loving me when I want to belong to you and you to me for a time before you leave, you think that will be difficult, but, that is just a lie you tell yourself

Maybe you think you are not worthy to love

Maybe you think you are broken

But I think we all are a bit broken and to love in the brokenness is the most beautiful of loves

To love fully for that moment in that moment of each other’s presence is the present that love gifts us with

And then we realize that there is no brokenness we are just stained glass windows

Separate pieces of color creating a whole scene of beauty that is impossible not to love

And this is how you love me

And this is how I love you