Sunday, June 18, 2017

The 8 Destroyers of Happiness

8 Destroyers of Greatness and Happiness

Many factors can undermine the greatest of plans and the best of intentions. They can turn a visionary into a paper-pusher, a dreamer into someone who knows only regret. Ultimately positive change is a decision we must make every single day. Are we going to sit on the sidelines of life or are we going to participate?

(1)  Availability. Often we settle for what's available - and what's available isn't always great. "Because it's there" may be a great reason to climb a mountain, but it's not a great reason to accept a job, a marriage proposal or even a free sample at the grocery store. Don't settle for mediocrity, availability or "good enough."

(2)  Ignorance. When we don't know how to make something great, too often we simply won't. When we don't know that greatness is possible, too often we don't even attempt it. All too often, we truly don't know any better than "good enough". Understand that greatness doesn't arise from the distraction and busywork that often fills our lives - it comes from thinking, planning and acting to make a difference in the world.

(3)  Consensus. Nothing can deaden or destroy a good idea quicker than a mandatory consensus. The lowest common denominator never is a high standard, so understand your individual commitment to group efforts and push for the highest good of all. Keep your ideas flowing, don't wait for inspiration to strike, but commit to producing strong and creative ideas regularly - and then act on them This can include bringing old elements into new combinations, and seeing positive relationships and opportunities in the world and people around you.

Sabotaging others by seeking the consensus of other's opinions, rather than, being an independent thinker.

(4)  Comfort. Why pursue greatness when you've got the premium cable package, the remote and a comfortable recliner? Pass the pretzels and forget about any grand plans. Set aside some quiet time for yourself to think, meditate, connect with yourself or be creative. Carve out a bit of privacy to cultivate those thoughts and actions that are uniquely and beautifully your own even in the most intimate of relationships.

(5)  Momentum. You've been doing it for years. Maybe it's not so great, maybe it's a rut, but it's what you know, and it's comfortable. Many people refer to their ruts as careers and marriages. Commit yourself to stepping out of your comfort zone, casting a new vision for your life, setting initiatives in place, launching new projects or creating meaningful art toward results that will bring positive energy to your life.

(6)  Passivity. There's a difference between being agreeable and agreeing to everything. Develop your communication skills - listening as well as speaking, and understand that passive aggressiveness is a poor coping mechanism. Always speak with integrity and say only what you mean. Keep your words loving and truthful. Trust your instincts when "they" tell you something is a bad idea - and trust them when they tell you that you can reach for a star!

(7)  Expectations. Often, we project our expectations on others - they're "supposed" to somehow know what you expect them to do. When they don't perform to our satisfaction, there's often anger, drama and unhappiness. Find the courage to open the lines of communication to express what you really want and agree upon mutually acceptable ways of living and working together with others. Transform your life and your relationships by being sincerely complimentary reasonable, grateful and courteous.

(8)  Offense. Don't take everything others say and do personally. Almost nothing others do is because of you, rather, their unkind or unthinking words and actions are a projection of their own realities or their own dreams. Do not make yourself the victim of needless suffering by assuming others are putting you down or by holding grudges over trivial matters. Avoid judgment, abuse, revenge and regret by focusing on your own reality and dreams, and doing your best from moment to moment.

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