Monday, December 3, 2012

Love and the Holidays

Love and the Holidays
We all know that holidays can bring out the best and the worst us. Although we all love the nostalgia of getting together, the stress can often get the better of us.
There are meals to prepare, parties to plan, time split between families, and gifts to purchase. Let’s not forget all of the cleaning between the nooks and crannies of your home that you haven’t cleaned all year. It’s also a time that involves donating to charities, shelters and helping the homeless, all in an attempt to experience the joy of giving. All of those things are wonderful but can bring stress to relationships, especially if your partner is not experiencing the joy of your giving. I know my husband, as generous as he is, wishes I would give a little less.
Do you carve out time to share with your partner while making plans to spend with others? Did you know that during the holidays, people get so overwhelmed with so many things going on, that they start to neglect their partners? It is important that while you are planning your parties, charity drives and volunteers efforts, that you include your partner in your planning. Better yet, take time to plan the year’s giving together. Take a peek at the tips below that will help keep you and your partner close during your holiday planning.
Communication and Feedback 
It is easy to forget to incorporate their partner’s feelings. Be open to your partner’s feedback. Communicate your feelings on how you want to spend the holidays. Your partner may want to have time with you alone, while you want to visit family and friends all day. You and your partner need to spend time together.

Don't Get Easily Offended
No two people will always want to do the same things the exact same way. A difference in personalities, attitudes, and values, all play a role in the choices we make. Do not get offended if your partner has a different view on holiday planning. Understand that it is Ok to have a different view, while at the same time having respect for each other's views.

Be Willing to Compromise
Relationships bring together different backgrounds, experiences, attitudes and sometimes cultures. Be willing to work together and come to an agreement on how you will spend your holidays and how much money you may spend and where you will be spending your time. 
Compromising it probably one of the most important keys to a successful holiday season. Holidays are as much about you as they are your family and friends, so make up the rules together. It will only be as stressful as you make it.

Be Mindful of Your Words
During stressful times, individuals can get frustrated and say things they do not really mean. Be sure that you use your words carefully when communicating with your loved one. You cannot take words back and once they hit, are not just painful but can ruin the holiday.

Take Some Time for Yourself
Whether it is quiet time with a cup of tea, a hot bath or exercising, be sure to take time for yourself. This will be a great way to keep stress levels low and roll with the punches. Furthermore, it will keep you and your loved ones from getting punchy or snarky with each other. 

Spend Time with Your Spouse/Partner
In all of your planning be sure you include spending time with your partner. Do not forget that you need some time for just each other. No children, no in-laws, no out-laws, and no friends, just the two of you. Taking time to enjoy each other will strengthen your relationship and promote happiness and balance.
Happy Heart  Holiday Challenge
You and your partner can each make a list of priorities. For example, if you have a lot of places to visit then each of you will make a list of where you would like to go first, second, third and so on. Share you list each other and find your middle ground. If you both agree that going to the out of town place has high priority then go there first. Whatever you agree to stick too it and then breathe! You have it all figured out and from there it is just easy going. Don’t be afraid to mix it up. There is nothing wrong with deciding to nix the family and friend celebration and just have a quiet holiday celebration for two. Happy Holidays Everyone, I wish you a fantastic and very lovely season! 

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